27 Recently Aquired Wisdoms

In the past couple weeks of training for Bike for Bibles, Cindy and I have spun our pedals over 425 kilometers of bike trails, highways and streets through lots of sun (and more recently, rain). Not surprisingly, the more times you turn a crank arm, the more hours you spend outside, and the more times a wheel goes around, the more things go wrong. Here are a few of our most recently learned first-hand lessons:

Lesson #1 – If your sister is slowing pulling out farther and farther in front of you, and the going is getting tougher and tougher, and then you hear a flapping sound, you have a flat tire.

Lesson #2 – If you hear a sudden bang and a hiss and your bike stops, you have a flat tire.

Lesson #3 – If you see a chunk of metal sticking out of your tire, don’t leave it there. You could get a flat tire.

Lesson #4 – If your tire is flat before you leave home, don’t just fill it with air and go. Patch the tube first, or else you may find yourself 20 kilometers from home dragging your rims on the asphalt. Lazyness does not pay off.

Lesson #5 – When changing a tire, take one side off at a time, then put one side back on at a time. Believe me, it is a long and tiring fight on the side of the bike trail in the middle of Fish Creek Park to try and pry both sides on at once... pry, pop, pry, pop.

Lesson #6 – When changing a tire, use two tire levers at the same time when trying to pry on or off the final part of the tire. Believe me, it is a long and tiring fight on the grass beside a road in Riverbend to do it with one tire lever.

Lesson #7 – When changing a tire, always check on either side of the tire to make sure the tube isn’t pinched before inflating it. Believe me, having two flats one day after another is not fun.

Lesson #8 – When sitting in the blazing sun next to 52^nd St. changing your tire for the second time in one ride, remember that a crown of life awaits him who perseveres under trials. Also remember that scissors work well for shaving off metal nicks in the rim that puncture tire tubes.

Lesson #9 – When patching a tire, put contact cement on the patch and the tube and press the two together with all your strength for five minutes until your thumbs go numb. Otherwise your patch will fall off and you will have a flat. Again.

Lesson #10 – When you’ve biked over 70 km against a headwind, be cautious when stopping, or you may forget to unclip your feet from the pedals and fall on your side into your sister while a rollerblader watches.

Lesson #11 – When you accidentally ride off the side of the road, do not swerve back on quickly and end up crashing with your sister.

Lesson #12 – If you can’t really remember the last hour or two of riding, stop and eat something. Quick.

Lesson #13 – If you use carbon dioxide pressurized air fillers for your (frequent) emergency flats, bring more than one canister.

Lesson #14 – If there is a chance of thunder storms in the forecast, bring your coat. Riding at 20 or 30 km/hr creates its own wind chill. An hour of that in the rain in a T-shirt is cold. Even in July.

Lesson #15 – Do not adjust your brakes unless you are well fed, hydrated, mentally calm, emotionally tranquil, physically rested, bathroomed, and otherwise feeling very patient.

Lesosn #16 – Drink at least one bottle of water for every hour that you are cycling, otherwise you’ll have to make up the deficit once you return home, which is not my favorite past time.

Lesson #17 – Bend your elbows slightly when grasping the handlbars and keep your cadence at least 90 RPM. Otherwise Cindy will calmly remind you, “elbows and cadence?” and you will be forced to admit your downfalls, “um... elbows locked, cadence 70... Argh.”

Lesson #18 – A faint, constant and unidentifiable squeak is annoying. I guess that’s not a lesson...

Lesson #19 – When your behind is sore, try standing when pedaling. If your legs are sore, standing may not be wise. If both are sore, hope that you don’t have many kilometers left.

Lesson # 20 – Shift down before you reach the hill, not once you’ve reached it.

Lesson #21 – If you are on a hill in your lowest gear and you are standing up and you are leaning all of your weight on one pedal, and it doesn’t go down, that is bad.

Lesson #22 – Never stop pushing hard until after you have crested a hill.

Lesson #23 – Do not despair when your sister passes you on the uphill. You will pass her on the downhill. (It has to do with mass and acceleration physics equations).

Lesson #24 – Be prepared that it could take you five hours of bike maintenance before you can leave on your three hour bike ride.

Lesson #25 – If you are waiting for your sister to get through a pedestrian gate after cycling 83 km, beware of looking back and calling to ask if your sister has fallen off her bike. Your legs could give out and you could fall off your bike. (Actually, this is more humorous than painful).

Lesson #26 – It is really encouraging to recite Scripture verses while riding.

Lesson #27 – When you are tired and sore and need some encouragement, it’s time to go get a hug from Dad.